As I was thinking about what to share about Communion at church this Sunday, I was surprised by the emotions that came up. I ended up having a major moment of confession and freedom with the Lord and I wrote down the conversation. I ended up reading it to my church family. I pray that you are blessed by this.
“Lord, I don’t like coming to the communion table.”
He gently pressed, “Tell me why, Karyn.”
Feeling safe after hearing His voice, I said, “Well, I hesitate. It brings up feelings of Guilt and Shame, and a sense that, once again, I’ve failed. I feel like I’ll never measure up.”
He leaned back thoughtfully , “Unpack that for me, Karyn.”
I confessed. “I feel like I go about my days doing what you ask me to do – I feel like i’m being obedient. But then, at communion, I have to pause and reflect on how wicked I am. How fallen. How I will always fall short. It makes me sad and discouraged.”
He smiled. “Sad and Discouraged. Hmm. Maybe you’re reflecting on the wrong thing, Karyn.”
At which point, I leaned back cheekily and said, “Unpack that for me, Lord.”
“Sin is powerful, Karyn. It can hinder your growth. It can keep you stuck. It keeps the focus on you. And YES, carrying your sin led me to the grave.
It didn’t keep me there.
I AM MORE POWERFUL THAN YOUR SIN.
I AM LIFE.
I AM LOVE.
I AM GRACE.
I AM FREEDOM.
I AM YOUR FUTURE.
Does that make sense, Karyn?”
“I think so. How should I approach your table instead?”
He nodded in approval. “When you come to the table, remember my sacrifice on the Cross. Bring all your sin, your guilt, your shame, and leave it at the foot of the Cross. It doesn’t define you. Leave it there. So that your mind and your heart can shift focus and are free to receive
AND TO RECEIVE IT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
LET ME LOVE YOU THROUGH COMMUNION.”
A rush of peace washed over me and I smiled. “Thank you, Lord.”
“I love you, Karyn, over, and over, and over, and..”